"Smile Like you Mean it"

Yesterday I took a trip to the Dr's then next door to Northwestern hospital is The Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. My 2nd home in 07. Visiting was real nice. I though I would be emotional, but I loved visiting. The RIC has some cool people working on the 10th floor. I guess when it was tumor awareness week. One of my speech therapist posted the TUMORS SUCK! pictures. and I guess some former patients wrote me a letter I'm yet to see. When I heard that, I was so happy as someone who knows just how they feel.
Back to the appointment. I saw a plastic surgeon for something called facial reanimation. Go ahead laugh. No John with a different face here, just trying to get back what I lost to the damn tumor. The surgery is not 100% successful.but it will give me movement. How much who knows. I will do whatever so my eye doesn't continuously water, I don't have to drink from a straw,spit up when I speak,scratch my eye if I don't stretch the crap out 0f collars when putting shirts on/off...the list goes on and on. The Dr was talking about 2 methods. 1) taking a nerve from the calve and making an incision by the sideburn down to my neck...grafting the nerve around the bottom and top of my lip,waiting 6 months and seeing if they take...if so he will put a muscle from my inner thigh and use as my cheek. 2) He would make the incision from my side burn to under my jaw and a bit past my chin.The Dr would also use a nerve from by my near my jaw and connect it to the non functioning one and use the inner thigh for cheek again. It is the first on 2 or 3 opinions. I like to laugh and SMILE. I would love to do so again.

Turkey (TIME)

Time. It would be nice to have more. I don't though. I would love to update this once a week, but that wont happen any time soon. I have spent some of my time lately, looking into surgery I want to have . It is a bit controversial. It is called nerve innervation or a nerve graft...
http://www.emedicine.com/ENT/topic630.htm It would hopefully bring my facial expressions back. I am willing to try almost anything. I have an appointment on Dec 11th. For now, I need to find another Dr for a second opinion
I start new rehab next week and im pumped. I think I will make some gains and a change of scenery is a plus.
Thanksgiving is Thursday. I have much to be thankful for 1)Im alive...very easily could not be. 2) Friends & Family. All that aside though, Im just ready to see family,eat till I explode,watch football and go into a food coma...haha!

Happy Birthday to me!

I had a birthday this past Monday the 27th. Nothing overly exciting. My Mom,gram and bro took me to an outdoor mall (Michigan City) where I had some returns to make along with other things you wouldn't care about.lol! After that we ate @ Miller Pizza. I recommend it and if you go...save me some.
It has been a while since I wrote in this because I have been extremely busy. Class is taking time not to mention I am trying to finish one up from Bloomington,researching options to fix my neck...I have trouble breathing,swallowing and talking of course http://www.voicedoctor.net/surgery/injection.html my Grandma broke her hip(long story, complications that occurred made it even longer) ,trying to weigh my options of which rehab would be better for me. I need a change of scenery. I'm @ a pediatric facility. Its bringing me down to see those kids and I need to be down like I need another hole in my head.haha. Its also that time of the school year I have to decide on classes. So, I want to get this membership to a gym my buddy works @(im out of shape and I hate it!!!) while balancing school and rehab. It may not seem like much,but I work slow now.

Next year...Again

Well, the cubs had me so excited and confident this year...they choked...hardcore. 97 wins and 3 an out in playoffs. I am not surprised they lost. I don't believe in curses. The real curse is not some goat,black cat or an overzealous fan(bartman) In the last 5 years, fans have had expectations. Before 03, they were expected to lose. At least I'm still young...lol!

I went to a car show this weekend. I want to drive sooo bad. With my screwed up eyes who knows. I am sick of having people drive me everywhere. 

Lots to do this week and not much to report here.

Back On Track

It starts to get difficult to stay motivated towards one purpose after a year in a half +. I realized I have more than one purpose. MAN! These lonely weekends are enough to make me get back to somewhat of a normal life asap. Seriously though, I am going at rehab and school etc with a different purpose. I had my life kinda mapped out...That took a ginormous dump. So plan B...uhhhh...lol! I guess that is the problem,I don't have a plan B. This all happened at a hell of a time and my friends are moving forward and I...well...umm...I am in superdeduper slow mo. But, I am revamping what I planned. I have hope for the future!

Take me out to the ball game!

Man! Have I been busy. This lady from disability service, who is supposed to help me succeed at school was setting me up to fail until I decided to do it myself.  Loooong story short. She ignored my email telling her the format of books I needed to go with my program. Awesome.  http://www.kurzweiledu.com/  So she set me back a while until I received what I needed...I want to be n Bloomington...s0 many more resources.

I went to the cubs game Tuesday...They won! That was awesome and not to mention the seats...25 rows directly in back of home plate. Could not ask for much more...right? Well,we got t0 Wrigley around 8 and we left @ 5..lol...we were re routed 3 times from water. All in all it was a great time. I went up with 2 great friends. Corey, James and we met my friend Mary who lives in the city. She actually was my speech therapist at one time. Cool we keep in contact.

When we got to the game this man who could not have been much older than 35 was sitting in his powerchair with his wife feeding him and he had a ventilator. He had to have been paralyzed from the neck down. It made me think that his condition was easily a possibility for me because of the location of my tumor. I am truly lucky.I don't have words for it. This poor guy is at the level of a 2 yr old and I have been down lately about my situation. Whenever I feel down I think of this dude lately and man do I have it good compared to him.

At therapy this week(Thurs) I had my first improvement that I have noticed in a while!!! I did a few laps in the pool (walking) and the therapist did not have to touch me at all. That can be compared with last week where the therapist had to help 5 times over the same distance...I still didn't know it would take this long,but I really like the big improvements!!!!! 

Friday night my cousin Mike  came down from Illinois. We ate some dinner and hung out...I would have to say this weekend w0uld be the most excitement I have seen in a long time! 

No news is good news?

I think I titled a previous entry the same.lol...opps. Well the good news is my brain scan (MRI) was clear. No new growth or change...GREAT NEWS!...I always go in with a positive attitude and most people would be nervous ,but I do not even let the 'what if' enter my brain.

Similar to therapy. I stay positive and say'why not'. Lately though it is sooo difficult to do that. Last summer, I was making huge gains and since January they have been getting progressively smaller/slower...not cool. The amount of time to get as far back to 'John' is taking way too long. Last Thursday though I made some positive gains. I have noticed that when I lose balance, my reaction time to put a foot out or somehow correct myself is better. I also did a better job than usual, when walking around the pool. I am trying to think of ways to recognize the fact that I keep about 70% of my weight shifted to the left leg(I can really only tell in a mirror...I'm getting better at noticing though) It makes walking that much more difficult!!! So, I am experimenting and flexing that hip super hard. It kinda helps.

I'm ready for this week. Cub game Tues and Friday my cousin Mike is coming from Illinois...should be cool!

TUMORS SUCK!

Just print out and post the logo http://www.ericgalvezdpt.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/tonguetumor.jpg (Please MAKE PICTURE BIGGER AND TAPE UP EVERYWHERE YOU GO!!!) where you work, go to school, or hangout. We need to spread the word about the young adult cancer/survivor population. NO ONE WILL DO IT FOR US. Wear a shirt or sticker to show support for adolscents and young adults like us that have to deal with a f-ing tumor/tumors. There is no fundraising involved.

The first step in fighting a horrible disease is raising awareness. What happened to HIV/AIDS? There is no cure yet, but incidence has decreased significantly in the past 10 years. Can WE do the same thing to cancer/tumors? Just digest these facts and spread the word. 1. Cancer incidence in young adults has doubled over the past 20 years2. 70,000 people ages 15-39 are diagnosed with cancer each year3. Young adults with cancer have lower survival rates with respect to the geriatric and pediatric populationsThere are many reasons there has been no improvement in young adult survival rates:* Doctors don’t take young adult patients seriously because they are not in the typical demographic for cancer, brain tumors, or some other life threatening disease leading to delayed diagnosis.* Lack of research - Young adult patients often are not eligible for studies (too old for pediatric studies or to young for traditional studies) and there are few studies geared towards the 15-39 age group.* Entry level jobs with poor healthcare - young people are just starting out so the costs of healthcare are not a priority. Early detection/education about warning signs is essential.* “Superman” complex - Belief that nothing could ever happen to a young adult patient. They think they are invincible! Early detection/education about warning signs is essential.Get gear here to show support for the cause. All proceeds go to "I'm Too Young for This". Just print out the logo on 10/25 to show your support if you want! Share your pictures on the tumors suck facebook group.http://www.cafepress.com/tumorssuck Kinda early...I will remind you.

Are you ready for some football?!

Football is finally here and I can come out of my depression.along with football comes my favorite season...fall and my birthday. It is just not fun after 21...Well,I feel that way... more so now (if you know what I mean). I love college football,but I have never really had a team I identify with and am a fanatic about (cubs,bears) I absolutely love IU and follow the teams,but it is unfortunate IU football has not reached national recognition like your other big ten teams(Michigan and OSU) Or IU basketball. Okay,that may be asking a bit much . I still love them though...even if they USED to be awful for years and I mean years! Lol.

School is taking time and therapy has taken the backseat. So, I have to keep up my motivation and continue to do alot on my own...I don't like interruption in my routine much. I guess this is ok though. I have my MRI and I see the neurologist who was at my surgery...wish me luck!

Back to School!

It has been a while. No news is good news? When I started this blog I said I would update it every week...I lied...lol. I have been busy gettin ready for class,which will not be nearly as difficult as I thought. I also have been searching for a new labtop...found one...It took a while. Im pumped to get it! I also have a new found love in selling on EBay! and have been trying to think of a unique way to raise money for the American Brain Tumor Association...(ideas welcome).

Therapy is going slow,but ok...No major improvments. That is another reason I have not posted also. I have mixed emotions about that. It ranges from fits of rage...lol! to sadness and everything between. Thats ok though...I guess? Nobody knows what to do with me. So as my friend Eric would say " Im makin my own rules ". It is strange bc im about 45% rehab and 55% school,but I guess I have to be bc I plan on acing this class.

I am seeing the cubs on Sept 16th. No walker or effin wheelchair is holding me back from history!

It was an uneventful weekend to say the least.Tons of The Tour de France...Im glued to screen every day. Probably has something to do with me being not able to ride.My Dad and me went to a small car show and ate some pizza.Whoohoo.I guess that is ok though...That is probably more the speed of my life since most of my friends are 'grown up'. When I am in Valpo it is like I am in another world...friends dont wanna spend the gas money...I dont blame them!

I guess that I dont have nerve damage after all. I e-mailed my neurosurgeon (brain surgeon) and he said the drooping of the face is from the brain sten. I guess I kindof knew that. He said my only option would be a combo of a facelift...lol and something called nerve innervation to kindof ''wake up'' the nerves and I would have my facial expressions back. I know jack dookey about this,but right now I am like "bring it on!" For all I know it could be dangerous,painful and all sorts of other bad stuff. I will probably do it anyways...Being able to use my face would mean my lip would never get in the way when eating,talking,breathing and when I drink or eat fluid it wouldnt flow like a damn waterfall out of my left side of my mouth. I cannot find anything much online about it. Looks like I will be making appointments with plastic surgeons this winter!!!

Man!!! It has been a few weeks since I updated this thing. Two weeks ago, I had surgery on some muscles to starigten my eyes. Well, It was
considered a success according to the surgeon. My eyes are much more straight,but I am kinda upset by the fact that when my glasses are on my left eye still pulls in a little...not cool...when the glasses are off, the eyes look almost perfect, which is great,but very strange. He did say my vision will never be perfect again(which it is not). He forgot to mention my eyes might not be straight. Maybe I am jumping to conclusions here...The Dr did say my brain was used to seeing the world one way and now my eyes are somewhat straight,plus that muscle has to strengthen and he said new lenses might help. I will make my final verdict in a month when I see him I guess.

Im getting more confidence on the walker also. Im walking short distances independently.(Livin life on the edge...lol...baby steps...literally!) Rehab is still going well,but slooooooow! Slow is still progress,but c'mon. Lately, Im am dealing with fatigue. I had it like a year ago...Thought it was gone! Pisses me off,but like the saying goes... it is better to be pissed off,then pissed on...hahahaha!...Soooo true!

Today, I also signed up for school with my Mommie...haha. I so pumped! I will finally get to go back. Not in the form or point I thought I would be @ 15 months,nonetheless.I will be goin back!!!!! I feel great about it all. Indiana University Northwest has more for disabled than I thought!

Yesterday was a strange day for me and probably many others. It has been one year since my friend Alex passed away(6-18-07). On Fathers day it was one yeaar that I left RIC and his wake was the first thing I did...I was a mess! Seeing poor Alexs grave that I had a ton of good times with on the football field,at football camp where I roomed with him,on the track,flag football at IU and off the field. At the cemetary, I thought about how easily I could of been with him at the cemetary...kinda gruesome,but very true. Seeing the spot he is at made me realize how lucky I am. I will get down about this or that,but it made me think, Alex will never do anything again and that is horrible. I still have things to acccomplish and Alex kind of inspired me to push even more. Speaking of inspiration...here are some links to Eric Galvez. Who had a similar brain tumor(as far as parts of the brain) He was a "Therapist that became a Patient"...He wrote a book called "Reversal" that is excellent. He made a website called http://www.masskickers.com/ it is a database of knowledge and has other young adults like "me". He has a relly nice blog that puts mine to shame...haha...http://www.ericgalvezdpt.com/ and he has a few videos on youtube that truly inspired me...http://www.youtube.com/user/ericgalvez ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKiQwAstgls ...He wants to let other young adults no they are not alone...Nice job Eric!

After we saw Alex we went to Chilis. Now, I love chilis and have not had it since a while before my surgery...I was sooo pissed! Pretty much everything I cannot taste well anymore...so I should have none what was comming...My meal was not the old chilis I once new. Its like my tastebuds are never satisfied. Many of the nerves on my face,tongue,eyes and neck(I have trouble breathing) are all scewed up! Not the best website at all...lol ,but at least you can get some info... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recurrent_laryngeal_nerve ...the nerve that leads to why my face looks so bad...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_nerve ...Consider it your science lesson for the day!

Sorry people...no more cool titles. My creativity sure did not last long. Not real impressive for a former art major!

I went to another wedding this weekend and saw my great friend Mary, get married. It was really cool. Most of my buddies and I went together. It was a nice wedding and Mary looked beautiful. Her husband is lucky. She is a great girl. I saw a bunch of people I have not seen forever. I was well aware that my friends were changing...it not only seems that they have changed, as well as my life has. Talk of graduation,jobs,moving and not to mention an old dance date of mine getting married...WOW! I knew it before,but it really made me realize how I should figure my life out quick...Or should I? I never knew in a billion years all this tumor garbage would stop my life. So, who is to say all kinds of doors will not open for me? Ill see what happens.

11 days until my surgery,but who is counting? haha. Get it over with! I sure am banking on this surgery to work...maybe I shouldnt? I still am. It should help me with hand eye coordinaton,depth perception,balance and to not look like a goon...lol...among other things.

Hitched

The last few weeks have been rough. Given the fact I cannot do 80% of what I enjoy. I am now very limited as to what I can do. Everything I used to do, was almost all physical. Having to find new things to do is an emotional thing...many emotions + and -. I made a list...getting back to my roots and drawing (I used to be an art major) bit of info for ya...if you care...lol...Watching movies,reading(trying...my eyes suck), lifting weieghts again...(I can do that still and it is great for my tremors) and save for a Nintendo Wii. Little did I know, I would be suprised and given one at a wedding I was at this weekend!!!
This last weekend was GREAT! On Saturday my great friend Corey took me to my great friend Kevins' sister wedding she got, "hitched" how the hillfolk would say married...I think that is funny at least? Anyway, Jodi the bride and Ryan the groom wanted to donate to something. They could not decide. They thought "Lets just give to Johns' therapy" .They said "just get him something he can use" They bought me a a Wii! (sounds funny) Anyway, they knew how great it is for hand-eye coordination,which I need...How nice/awesome is that. I am so grateful and lucky to have friends and family that want me to get as far back to John as I can. I am sooo motivated,but stuff like this really helps me!

Out and About

I do not have much to say,except I finally have a date scheduled for my eye surgery! About time! It will be at Northwestern in Chicago on June 20th @ 12:30...not soon enough,but it is getting done atleast. They might do both eyes and since I am kind of a special case...I might need to stay overnight for which is usally an outpatient procedure. Whatever...I heard NW just remodled the rooms and they have flat screen T.V.s in all the rooms! haha.I am gonna miss the cubs - sox game though...not cool!...I am soooo sick of my double vision and then I can practice my driving finally! I will have a long time to practice!
Yesterday, (Sunday)I was out and about. It was very cool, because my friend Corey picked me up and we went to James house and had a bonfire with the boys.(bonfire in May?) It was nice, because I am at the point now I can go to hangout with them wherever...Last summer I was basically homebound and now it is fairly easy to handle me and I feel way much more safe. It is not the same because half my neck and face do not work...which makes talking exhausting and my voice is weak,slow and my speech is a little slurred.It made me sad, but at the same time it was awesome!!! I was really starting to miss hangin out that way.

Getting Somewhere!

A few weeks back, I was talking about how IUN would only give me 18 of my 94 credits! Well,all that has changed and now I need only 29 to graduate!...That is more like it! But, the only catch is it is a degree in general studies. My first thought...What the hell!...Then, I thought about it. Anymore, employers just want that piece of paper. Yeah, a certain area would be nice, but it didnt work out that way.I plan on getting my masters anyway....whatever...It is a degree. Even cooler yet, since Bloomington was so important to me and I worked so hard...The lady I am working with, knows a way to have my degree, say at that tiny print at the bottom...Issued in Bloomington. Thank you Joan!!(that is her name).
On Wednesday, my awesome friends...James and Joe...who I owe, took me to Evanston,Northwestern where I had my surgery ,to have an MRI which I have every four months and meet with my neurologist that was at my surgery. I never thought in a million years, my friends would be taking me for an MRI...I am so lucky and grateful I have friends like that. Anyways, my nueurologist appoinment went well. No changes in my scan!!! I asked a few questions and she said something I never thought about. How I lived the last year before surgery, living the lifestyle I did.The part of the brain the tumor was in or around was not much bigger than the tumor itself...So, she thought it was nuts that I could have somthing that large in my brain and still function... CRAZY! Also, from how she was talking,I am further along than she expects. You know, doctors are very intelligent and have many years of school, but people tend to forget...They are just human. Just because the book says something does not mean it is right. We all know, books can be wrong. Everyone has different healing abilities,levels of motivation or work ethic and point of view etc. I have a good friend and her Mom is a radiologist. She has to tell people all the time "you have cancer" They always ask, will I live or die.People that she has told will die, refuse to beleive they will die and somtimes have not. The people she has told will live, sometimes die because they let it get to them. When people say "Attitude is everything" ...man, is that true!!!

Oah yeah!

It is brain tumor action week this week! E-mail your friends the link!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRTQGYiQPJI

For Sale

First off,sorry I have not updated this for a while. My friend is buying a bike and it has been my soul purpose in life to find her a great bike...jj...Well, not really. Last week, I was kinda upset that most my fiends are about to graduate or already did. Lol...Not upset b/c they did or will graduate. Just the fact I have missed so much.I knew that, already but it kinda hit me then. Well,I guess at least I had the chance to experience IU while I could! I beleive this happened to me for a reason,what that reason is, I may never know! Anyways, Therapy is goin well but sloooow still and my therapists and I get along well. Hopefully the weather stays nice and I can start pool therapy! Cant wait!!!
Today, I made a monumental decision...I am going to sell my bike! I know...It sucks, but it comes with the territory. Last night, I was brutally(if that is how you spell that?) honest with myself. It is gonna be a looong time before "you" ride a bike on the road again. I mean it is just sitting all by it lonesome...looking like a word I cannot type on this! It will just lose value and I could use the cash.Possibly,by the time I can ride again...I will be working, so I can by the Rolls Royce of road bikes! So,If you know anyone that is in need of a magnificent machine"or bike"lol...Let me know. jabbate@indiana.edu 54cm 2005 cannondale R5000 with almost full dura ace except a carbon FSA crank...no pedals...Fiziks saddle...Mavic kysyrium elite wheels....carbon fiber fork and post...a little over 1000 miles...great bike, just forced to sell! Give me a reasonable offer.

IU is IU right?

Last week my Mom,brother and I went to IU Northwest in beautiful Gary. I was going finish school at IUN ...So I thought. For the same exact major they will only give me 18 of my 94 credits!!! Iwas so pissed...I thought to myself... all the time,hard work and money just to name a few for 18 measley credits?! NO...I am back to the drawing board for school. I will most likely take what I can online and one day when I can go back to Bloomington I will. I mean, I could very easily get some job one day that you dont need a degree for. Many people with life changing surgery do that at times. What happened to me is not gonna stop me. I have never really done "normal" things in my life. So far, I have accomplished more than alot of people do in a lifetime in 23 years...Sooo. Guess what? I am not even CLOSE to being done. Just to prove I can still "do it". I aced the poli sci class I was working on finishing from last year...BOOYAH!
Also, I am done with therapy at Saint Anthonys...The physical therapist says I am not making much progress...She is full of it! Seriously though. She is the expert right? Then she should now how inconsistent I am and how long my recovery will be. One month I could improve 1% and the next month I could improve 50%. Since March, everyone has been wrong and sorry to break to them...Thay STILL are. I must...well ...my situation is rare...I have retained almost all of my strength but my control or lack coordination(ataxia) is my major problem and it soooo severe. My balance is getting better but you would lose your balance to If your body moved uncontrollably. So as far as not improving. I know I am not even half way to how much I have to improve. Luckily I am continuing with the "hippotherapy",interactivve metranome and soon enough pool therapy...I cannot wait! and It will feel great to prove St Anthonys wrong!

Sleepless in Bloomington

This weekend was awesome besides the jackasses in the hotel my Mom and I stayed in. They had loud music and where loud until about 5 A.M...So that was great...Anyways, the weekend,was great although cold and windy with a bit of snain (snowish rain) it was ok.It must of been horrible for the riders though. Wind makes riding so much more difficult. I am really glad I went...I thought I would be way more emotional, but I suprisingly was not. I think I was just very happy to be with my friends and seeing the race I should have been in. Considering exactly 1 year ago I was like a wet noodle, could not talk or open my eyes and needed 100% assistance to even stand. When I did stand I would be exhausted after 5 minutes. Yesterday, I stood holding on to the fence of course, for 2 1/2 hours watching my buddies race in the Little 500!I do not know the exact place they came in, but for where they qualified they did great! After the race my Mom and I went to the tean cookout...That was great! I guess a bunch of my friends commented on how much healthier I looked and how much less I shake when I eat. It is nice to hear that stuff. Especially from people you do not see often. The notice the biggest changes. Well I am proud of the team,everyone who helped plus (the whole Rigney family),the fans,friends and I am real glad my Mom took me!

Bring on the Weekend!

This weekend, I am heading down to Bloomington, near Indy.That is where I was going to school before things happened. I cannot wait because I will see some friends I have not seen in over a year! I am going to watch some of my buddies race in the Little 500. On the team I was once on. It will be awesome!
I also figured out how and what I was gonna do to finish up school. A while back I thought about changing my major, because I plan to teach and what does a teacher do all day? Talk. If it remains difficult to speak? Who knows. I have just decided to stay with my major of social studies education and I am going to learn sign-language to teach the deaf...Thats the plan!...I was going get my masters in school administration, but who knows now. I have learned that one thing is for sure...change.
I am ready for the weekend! It will suck seeing people do what I should be doing, but very cool considering this time last year I was laying in a bed and could not speak! Now, I am watching!!!

Sorry,No Cool Title

This week was ok. I feel like my balance has gotten a little better...So that is great! What holds me back is my 'ataxia' or lack of coordination/control and I have it extemely bad,where I shake, but that has gotten much better. When you are trying to keep you balance and your body is moving slighltly and uncontrollably in ways you do not want that does not help. I talked about my eyes last time. The 'orthoptist' I saw tested my sensory movements of my eyes.Like where my eyes are,what I see and when I see it and how I may see things different than people with 'normal' vision...by the way...Only about 200 or so 'orthoptists' are in the nation...crazy huh! Well, no surgery date is set to straighten it but it will be early this summer! Get it over with already!

Adequate Friday

Today is Good Friday, but I got to thinking, what if youre not Christian and do not observe this day? I am Catholic so I do, but I am just saying! What if your Friday was just adequate or even sucked? Think about that...lol. Well, my Friday was decent and pretty uneventful. IU lost in the first round and that is really upsetting. I think I will get over it though.This week overall was just OK and I want to be more independent. I am sick of needing someone to follow me when I am on the walker! What the Hell! Sorry, I regress, I see some Doctor with a strange title soon. An 'orthoptist'.They measure the distance between your eyes and all that crap.Lol. I am having that done in order to know how much to move my eye. I am having surgery to straighten it this summer. I cannot freakin wait. I know you are probably thinking excited about surgery?If you saw double for a year you would be excited also! So, I hope next week is great and I cannot wait!

Cabin Fever!

This week of therapy has been great so far...still making improvments! Today, my Bro and I went to a park so I could practice walking on uneven surfaces with the walker...It went well and it was about 58 and sunny...sad thats nice for March in beautfiul Northwest, Indiana. But, it still gave me cabin fever.
Lately, I have been thinkin about the old road bike.For a while I considered not riding because fear of falling,hitting my head and perhaps brain surgery again. That is crazy...when I can ride again, however long that may be...I will. Racing, NO, but just in order to stay in shape yes. This time of the year is very special for cylists at IU. Hard work, big chances and a ton of time and work, just to name a few is at a point now where all the things I just listed are culminating.Alot of teams are away in warm climates training for Sping Break and some are in good ole B - town training like they are possesed for 1 day. May sound crazy.You would not understand unless you have done it but I want it so bad I can taste it...lol. For those of you who do not know what the Little 500 is, here ya go...My friend Mike used this and I like it ( Thanks Mike)...haha...It is from Sports Illustrated...“…the Little 500 (is a) bicycle relay, held every April. The event was launched in 1951 by university fund-raiser and racing buff Howdy Wilcox, whose father, Howard, won the 1919 Indianapolis 500. The Little 500, in which 33 teams of four riders (33 teams in the women's race) ride 200 laps around a quarter-mile cinder track, has been the focus of a movie (Breaking Away, winner of the 1979 Oscar for best screenplay), has been aired on national TV and has generated more than $1,000,000 in scholarship money (from ticket sales and sponsors). ‘I tell people who don't go here about the race--10,000 students watching people they've never heard of ride a bike around a track--and they think it's ridiculous,’ says senior rider Mike Krueger. ‘They can't understand the passion people here have for this event.’” I always found it ironic that this week or weekend is considered the biggest party weekend all year. While the riders spend all year training and holding back for close to 20,000 drunk asses. Well all you people can party, because the riders know the REAL party is that night and the weeks to come.To get a picture of how amazing being in little 5 is, take your Birthday and Christmas and multiply that by 5. Then you will still be a little off .Goodluck to all of you riders!!!

Wild Weekend!!!

Actually, if you are looking for some cool stories, you will not find it in this entry.Lol. I know that is not an attention grabber...but honesty is still the best policy(at least I think so!). This weekend I was tottaly pumped to see the new movie 'Semi pro' with Will Ferrell (the funniest person alive!) My friend said they were sick and I sure as heck cannot drive...So I instead played a rousing game of 'Balderdash' at my Grandmas. WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bet you are jealous!? No offense to those of you over the age of fifty, but I am sick of hangin out with you. My friends need to come home. Today, I talked to my old highschool track coach on the phone...Great guy. He thinks I should talk with the team...Great idea! I miss H.S. track!
But I really am not fond of that chair. I might use the walker...I hate that chair with a fire that burns hotter than 1000 suns! ( Will Ferrell joke) I am considering melting the chair in a bonfire and telling insurance...Opps! I lost it...Haha.That God forsaken chair ( can you tell I do not like the chair?) I am embarrased whenever I am in it and sick of people treating me like a baby! Alright, I am done venting Next weekend has to be better!.

Whoa! Dude

Almot a month ago I started 'Hippotherapy' in Greek that is for horse. The horse's name which I ride is named 'Dude' ...get the title now? Anyways you are most likely saying to yourself 'riding a horse for therapy'?The horse's gait is excellent to simulate human walking because the horse's pelvis also simulates a human pelvis. It also does great core strenthging and for your back as well it helps with balance issues and knowing where your body is in space. Among other things...Here is a link. http://www.americanhippotherapyassociation.org/ My friend Kevin's parents, or Mom and step - Dad are letting me do it free of charge( that is HUGE) so that way insurance does not interfere and I can continue with my other 'traditional' therapy. When I am at that place I also take part in this computer program called " Interactive Metronome" . It has a sensor on the hand and a pad for your feet. And you wear headphones that send out a sound, so you have to react and it judges you in a read out that tells you whether you are on or off by milliseconds. It also tracks your progress as you go . It really helps to get your mind and body working together. It helps your coordination, timing and seqencing of info and it helps a ton of other stuff...Read about it here. http://www.interactivemetronome.com/im/cli_add.asp?mn=1. At my "traditional" that involves walking, use of parellel bars and so on. I use this crazy contraption called the 'Biodex' or 'Lite Gait' gait trainer system. You are strapped in to this harness and and a crank is turned and it suspeds you from air...or takes weight off you so you can just focus on walking on the treadmill under you. It makes your strides longer, makes your walking faster and the repetitive motion of wwalking is put back in yor brain. It does way more stuff but that would take me forever and this entry is already long enough, I am almost positive the website can explain it betterLol.. http://www.biodex.com/rehab/gait_trainer/gait_trainer_385system.htm
So yeah...
Last night I was thinking about my surgery...I am really starting to think my my neurosurgeon damaged my cerebellum. The part of the brain that controls coordination and balance. I feel this way because it has been a DAMN! year and I still use the wheelchair because my balance is so poor. On the walker I always need people to stand by with minimai assistance but lets get real here! I not by myself and that is Jack dookie! I know that my surgery was very seriuous...but c'mon! Whatever... I cannot go back...All I can do is work with what the Big Man left me with!

One Year Stronger

Today is one year since surgery...Crazy...huh? I thought the same thing.The average person celebrates a New Year on Jan 1st. Not me , my New Year kinda changed dates for the rest of my life. So, here is to the New Year!I am getting a second shot at life, 'so what the hell!' So much in my life is different now. Emotionally, psychologically and physically,I have changed.My outlook on life among other things has changed. To set the record straight, I used to think this blog stuff was a little strange and here I am making one. Like I said, alot in my life has changed...lol.First of all I am writing so I do not go crazy. I want the family and friends that I love and care for to know what is going on with my life. Thank you all!I really do not think I could do it without you guys! I am also TRYING (my eyes are messed up) to read this wonderful book called 'Reversal' It is about this guy who is a physical therapist and had a brain tumor removed in October of 2005 and to make a long story short ,he is ok now. From what I can see. I have only read 20 pages. We have'had' a lot of the same limitations. The book just inspires me to kick the tumors ASS and what the surgery has left me with even harder.As Lance Armstrong would say "This _has messed with the wrong guy."It truly did.
So I had a real nice weekend. Friday my friend Liza came over and we played Nintendo Wii. I can see a Nintendo Wii in my future...ha.I read that it is an excellent tool for people with spinal or head injuries for the coordination. That I need , my coordination is garbage! So ,that was fun! Saturday, I hung with my friend Kevin and also an ooooooolllllllldddd girlfriend of mine,Amy, who is a real cool girl. Kevin and I ate dinner, talked and watched a movie and some other stuff,but I wont bore you.Seeing my friends when home from school is fantastic! I really think being around them would make me heal quicker! What sucks though is the Cubs lost a crap load this weekend! I think all 3 and IU got rocked.Bad weekend for my teams! It is early in the pre season. I am just getting excited! Till next time!